Welcome Back Summer

I feel like blogging more journal-style posts, so here goes. Hopefully I can do it again. I had a very interesting day.

Woke up early, was late for morning Mass (again) and did Morning Prayer. I’ve been doing Morning & Evening Prayer every day for the past couple of weeks to help me with my day-to-day discernment, it was a suggestion from a very holy friend of mine. She said that even if I wasn’t at the seminary, I could do a few things that would help me discern away from the seminary.

One thing I’ve learned about relationships is that being right is not a very important thing when it comes to being loved… in the end, the couples that last are the ones who realize that the thing they’re fighting about is so much less important than what love they could still be sharing with one another. I guess that’s all I’m going to say about that. Although, I do wish the Devil wouldn’t be around to obstruct proper communication, sometimes. That’s what prayer is for, I guess!

This summer has been interesting. Deep inside, I knew I didn’t want to take on a part-time or full-time job doing something I didn’t really want to do because I wanted money. I know the money and the discipline attached to having a job was important, but I knew that there was a higher road. I wanted to challenge myself to greater holiness: to do exactly what I want in life, which is singing and playing and writing music, and leading others closer to Christ, but really taking myself seriously, and doing it with discipline. So I gave myself a daily routine. There was still something to be said about money, but it seemed like the Lord confirmed the desires in my heart when I started getting paid for leading praise & worship at some retreats. I’m blessed to say that over the next four months of summer, at least one full paid month will be purely dedicated to being a music minister at retreats. It’s very exhausting, demanding but incredibly fulfilling work. I hope to do more of it in the future. Needless to say, I am employed by the Lord :)

Today’s transit on the way to North Van to lead the St. Thomas Aquinas Secondary Choir in rehearsal for an upcoming Mass was a very interesting ride. I got on the bus with my guitar and gear and I was obviously having a hard time with my guitar, and I saw another man near the back with a guitar as well. I stood in the bay in front of him, but I realized I was blocking the doors so I tried to move away. As I did, I lost balance and he reached over to grab me. He told me, “You can sit here, buddy,” motioning to the vacant seat beside him. I sat next to him and he said, “Anyone with a guitar can sit next to me.” 

“What do you play?” he said. 

“Oh, I play guitar,” I said sheepishly.

He rolled his eyes and said, “Well, duh.”

“Oh, um, I play for the Church, and um, some acoustic stuff.” Mind you, I wasn’t feeling very upbeat at this point and so I wasn’t feeling super “be a Catholic witness” time. Nonetheless, I was still disappointed for not being transparent about my identity and my job. “How about you?”

“I play blues, jazz, rock, and Gospel. A lot of Gospel. Caribbean Gospel.” I thought, whoa, cool. “My brother is Jeff Healey (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Healey). I used to play in a band with him, but he passed away four years ago. My other brother was murdered and he played bass.”

He was carrying a lot of gear and so I asked him where he was going.

“Kandahar, Afghanistan,” he said solemnly.

Again, I was so dense and sheepish. “Oh, for what?”

“Seventh deployment.” The desert camo he was wearing finally made sense.

My cousin Miguel is a tank driver stationed in Edmonton and he had done two tours of duty in Afghanistan, so I mentioned that to him. “Oh, we don’t associate with those types,” he said with a smile. 

I learned from the ensuing conversation the following things, and came to the revelation that this man, named Stacey, had lived a full life. In the course of his life he had:

- Been shot multiple times all over his body
- Experienced a misdiagnosed hernia, and had desired to punch his doctor in the face (expressed continued desire to do so during the course of our conversation)
- Gunfights with Nicaraguan drug gangs (he said that he doesn’t kill, that he didn’t want to commit a mortal sin by killing, so he filled his shotgun with rock salt, because apparently that was non-lethal and hurt like hell)
- Almost hung by Taliban 
- Gone through three years of chemotherapy for a cancer that was not in his body, lost half of his teeth
- Almost been drowned by the Taliban, and experienced a near-death experience, where he said he “went to Hell and back”, prompting his conversion to Christianity
- “flipped 33 people” (“flip” = convert) to Christianity, including his wife
- started a family (he showed me a photo of his daughter on his iPhone, she was very beautiful)
 
Based on the religiousity and Christian content of our conversation we had a brief conversation on faith and religion. He was of the conviction that Church was not in a building, but in the hearts and minds of the faithful. He also believed that the Bible as we know it is not the full Bible, and that the Vatican keeps the rest of it locked up in a vault. Obviously I agreed to some of his claims to an extent, and ignored most of the errant beliefs. Unfortunately I did not have the time to make a full Scriptural defense of the Catholic Church and why we need to gather, why we need physical churches, the magisterium, apostolic tradition and whatnot. Nonetheless, it was clear that Stacey had a strong faith and relationship with Jesus and was doing all he could so that his family had the same.

He got off at King Edward, and we said our goodbyes. I said I would pray for him, and he appeared to take real joy in hearing this.

Whatever gloom I was feeling before meeting this Stacey, I didn’t feel it anymore. This was a man who had gone through a lifetime of spiritual, emotional, and physical pain and suffering and he still had the compassion to offer me a seat and relate to me as a human being. Seeing him leave, and recalling him now, I am filled with so much love. 

I don’t know if I will ever see him again, but I will pray for Stacey, and for his family.

The Call

It's desire,
this quiet fire
burning brighter
than any other

I'm feeling lighter
In Your light
Like a wisp of smoke
this hope like incense
rising from the woods

This little boy's prayer
whispered and heard
from within a crowd,
an earnest song laced
with love that makes it
clear and loud

I've heard Your call
it's unmistakable,
unbreakable though I can
see through it like glass
and i don't know what else
to do but call back
and put my wheels on your track

where will You
take me?

Secret

I love the way
light enters the
glass of your eye
like the sun passing
through a dewdrop;
everything comes
alive.

leanunachriost:

zebrafinches:

pilgrimlog:

Countdown to St. Joseph’s Day:  8 days

ST. JOSEPH, TERROR OF DEMONS, PRAY FOR US!!!

One of the titles of our beloved patron and father found in his litany is Terror of Demons.  The above pictures demonstrate the strength and power of St. Joseph who safeguarded Our Lady and the Christ Child from King Herod’s attack and who now defends us, his poor children, from the onslaught of Satan and his angles. Any earthly father would give and do anything to protect his family, so, too, our holy patriarch protects our bodies from harm and our souls from the snares of the enemy.

But what makes the demons terrified?  I think it is our patron’s love and fidelity to God—the Infant he held close to his heart—and to his Immaculate spouse who crushes the serpent underfoot.  Also, St. Joseph’s purity, his fervent prayers, and humility of heart, surely not only kept the demons at bay, but made them flee with terror at the sight of this formidable Guardian of the Holy Family.

My brothers, see in St. Joseph our model and inspiration. 

He is the man who was most obedient to the Father’s will. 

He is the man who served Jesus most perfectly on earth. 

He is the man who passionately loved Mary, honoring her on earth and in heaven, and who lived to imitate her virtues. 

My brothers, let us be men like him!

The artist who painted both of the above images is Lawrence Klimecki, an outstanding Catholic artist at Gryphon Rampant.  He is also a deacon at Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary Parish in Sacramento, CA. 

Deacon Lawrence wrote the following about our St. Joseph, Terror of Demons.

“We know very little about this righteous man, but we do know some things. We know he was tempted.

When Joseph became aware of Mary’s pregnancy, he had several options. He could have brought her before the village court but he was unwilling to expose her to shame. He considered divorcing her quietly to avoid humiliating her in public. His third option, accepting the child as his own and bringing Mary into his house seemed to be out of the question. This was Joseph’s crisis of faith and the demons of temptation were hard at work.

But consider the type of man he must have been. To him was entrusted the Mother of God and the Son of God. Twice the Lord speaks to him in dream and upon awaking he does not hesitate to comply.

All fathers know the feeling of holding their child in their arms for the first time. The entire world changes in a tiny heartbeat. The demons never had a chance.

Joseph is the model of the pure man, pure of heart and pure of spirit. To him God has entrusted the safety of the pinnacle of all creation. Faced with such holiness how could the demons hope to tempt him to doubt?

The Church, born of the water and blood that flowed from the side of Jesus, and nourished by the prayers and love of Our Lady, seeks comfort and protection from the snares of the devil, in the arms of Saint Joseph, the Terror of Demons.”

And Msgr. Charles M. Mangan had this to say about our mighty Protector:

“It is often said that we know little information about Joseph and his life from Sacred Scripture. That assertion is clearly true.

But we can know something regarding this magnificent Saint. How? Not only by prayerfully meditating on the relevant passages in The Holy Bible but also by asking God Himself to teach us about this “just man” who is the Foster Father of Jesus, the chaste Husband of the Ever-Virgin Mary and the Patron of the Universal Church.

The Lord has countless secrets to reveal to us about Joseph. God wants to instruct us in the ways of Joseph’s faith, perseverance, purity and loyalty.

The “Litany of Saint Joseph” is an excellent place to begin. The vivid titles convey so much meaning and truth. One of my favorite appellations from the Litany is “Terror of Demons.”

Satan and his cohort of fallen angels had no success in seducing Joseph. He checked his temper, he refrained from idle speech and he was righteous in his dealings with his neighbors. Because Joseph was close to the compassionate Almighty, he was enabled to overcome the vicious onslaught of Lucifer and his vindictive companions.

Those who turn to Saint Joseph for his powerful intercession and good example do much to keep Satan and the other wholly corrupt devils at bay. In this sense, Joseph is the Terror of Demons because when the friends of Jesus avail themselves of his salutary influence, Saint Joseph is for them a sure protection against the oppressive wiles of the Prince of Darkness.”

Day 2 of our novena.  Ite ad Ioseph (“Go to Joseph”, Genesis 41:55)

THIS IS SO BOSS.

He’s also the Avatar, apparently. 

Patron Saint and namesake == Reblog.

(via joecatholic)

fathershane:

A Catholic video with special effects? Never not reblog.

(via nikosnature)

We are all broken — A Testimony of How I Met Jesus

My name is Joseph San Jose. I’m a 21 year old university student from Vancouver B.C. Here’s how I met Jesus. I hope you appreciate it, and please don’t hesitate to message me or anything if you have any questions.

We are all broken. This statement—that as humans, we are all bound to fail, disappoint, or fall short—was something that I didn’t understand as I graduated from high school, near the top of my class, as Valedictorian, as a well-known and well-loved person. I thought my life was pretty close to perfect. I was in a band that was just starting to get its act together and achieve some measure of success, and I was dating someone that, at the time, I was really happy about. I invested in these people—my bandmates, and my girlfriend at the time—and I looked to them as my source of fulfillment and happiness.

But these people that I invested in—that I gave my life to—were broken. They were bound to disappoint me. In my first year of university, my best friend and bandmate told me that he no longer wanted to be friends. The band broke up. Not long after, my girlfriend at the time decided she no longer wanted to date me. I thought I had lost everything that made me happy. That summer, I turned to alcohol and pornography as a short-term anesthetic to being hurt by those I loved the most. In the end, was like drinking salt water—it only left me more dry, more thirsty, and unfulfilled. I was looking for a lasting, satisfying fulfillment, and I didn’t know where to go.

I had invested all of my love into human beings and none into God. I had no idea that God had invested all of His love into me. This love, unbeknownst to me, manifested in the form of an invitation. A longtime mentor and best friend from high school invited me to be a leader for my the St. Paul’s Life Teen Retreat that same summer of 2009. He had always invited me to these retreats as a teen, but I had always declined. I decided to say yes without any real expectations—I tried everything else that summer to find some sense of satisfaction in life, why not the retreat? The Retreat was entitled “Unstoppable” and was themed on the life and conversion of St. Paul.

During the Retreat, I was tasked with helping organize a session which featured Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. At this point, I had no real understanding of what the Eucharist was. I helped lead the retreat-goers in a reflection song called “Empty and Beautiful” by Matt Maher. A time of Adoration followed. The priest put the Host inside the monstrance. As I was kneeling, I remembered these lyrics from the Matt Maher song: “My past won’t stop haunting me // in this prison there’s a fight between who I am, and who I used to be…” I thought immediately of my best friend and my ex-girlfriend. I couldn’t stop thinking about the past: my sins, the pain and loneliness that I had experienced. Then, I heard God speaking to me clearly for the first time in my life—He was offering me a solution. He was offering me a new life. He was offering me transformation. More lyrics came to mind: “I’m waiting, set apart, like incense to your heart, a libation, I’m pouring out // empty and beautiful…” Again, I heard God speak. He was calling me to lay down my past, of who I once was, to lay down my sins and to pour out like a libation—like a cup. And so I did. Like St. Paul having a vision of the Risen Christ, I recognized for the first time that it was Christ in the Host, speaking to me, and I poured out everything to Him. I laid down my past, my sins, and every ugly thing that had brought me pain up to that point. I prayed and wept until I was empty. For the first time, I tasted the real joy of a truly satisfying and lasting fulfillment. I felt His love pouring and flowing into my heart; my empty cup.

In the past 3 years since then, God has accomplished a lot of catch up work. St. Paul was transformed from a person who pursued and convicted religious Christians to a convicted Christian in pursuit of Christ. In the same way, I went from hating Christian music and praise & worship into a more faithful member of the St Paul’s Church community, of which I am now the co-director the 6:30 PM choir. I currently lead worship for the Summit Adoration events for CCO and throughout the Archdiocese for events and youth ministry needs. I am a student leader for CCO at UBC and I’ve lead and taken faith studies. Above all, I found the source for unfailing, always satisfying fulfillment and joy—in Christ Jesus.

This past January 25th was the Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul. It was a Wednesday, and like all Wednesdays, it was Choir Practice. We have a shift in the Perpetual Adoration Chapel at St. Paul’s, and it just happened to be my shift that day. I was kneeling before Him in the Chapel that night when I heard him speak, in the same way he spoke to me at the Retreat three years ago: He said, “Joseph. Think of all that I have done for you and in your life in the past three years since you opened your heart to me. Think of all the grace I have poured into your heart since then.” And I thought, and reflected, and thanked Him for everything so far. “Now, think of all that I could still do for you and in your life in the years to come, if you continue to open your heart to me. I am still pouring out for You.”

Once again, I was like a libation, a cup, pouring out once again, laying down all I am for Jesus before the Blessed Sacrament. As flawed human beings, we are all broken. But we were meant to receive a personal and intimate love for Christ, as a cup would receive water. As broken cups, we will always need to re-fill ourselves with the love of Christ. “Where sin abounds grace abounds the more.” Christ wants to pour His love into our broken lives, to fill the cracks of our brokenness. He wants to pour out His love not only to fill the cracks of our lives, but to flow through them into other people—if we let Him.

Joe Zambon. Canadian Catholic musician. Beautiful songs. New single! Re-blog if you like it!

sweetandlovelygirl7:

badwolfcomplex:

Perfection.

ALL THE THINGS

(Source: restlesshippo)

nikosnature:

1. Don’t be a jerk. 99% of atheists will use the behavior of Christians as their justification for atheism.

2. Actions speak louder than words. An atheist doesn’t care about what bible verse you quote. An atheist is more impressed when he sees Christians helping others, especially the…

rainyautumntwilight:

sword-meets-rose:

The homosexual activists have set up this straw man that says “If you disagree with our agenda on homosexual marriage, then that means you hate us”. Wow. Disagreement on an important societal issue like marriage equals hate? What if we all did…